Janos’ Journal

I have been on the road with this group for a couple of weeks now. For the most part all has gone well. The report you requested on the group members is as follows…

Lazlo Benington has taken charge as well as he can. I say this because it is very difficult to control certain party members. I find that Lazlo is an honorable and jolly fellow that can act as leader, friend, and possibly a brewmeister. Please excuse my wry sense of humor. I have aquired it as a defense mechanism while traveling with these people. Bishop Benington can certainly hold his own in a fight , and has already provided valuable healing to the party (myself included).

Schlaade is Lazlo’s bodyguard and rarely speaks. When he does, it rarely exceeds one syllable. I will, however, say that this man is the best I have ever seen with a battle axe. One incident in particular sticks in my mind. We were boarding a ship and apparently one of the crew insulted or assaulted Lazlo. The next thing I knew the crewman’s head was neatly removed from his body and ended up in the ocean. (personal note: be nice to Lazlo)

Then there is the elf Silk. Actually that is just his nickname (I think). He is actually a Prince of Dralsnia. Silk is probably the closest thing to a friend I have in this group. This is probably due to our racial similiarities and our common love of good wine. I would hesitate to trust him though, everybody knows that to take a dralsnian at face value is to invite disaster. He is a good companion, though, and seems to be able to find stuff we need when no one else can.

Finally, the twin juggernaut Gwackmung brothers. Where do I start? I realize that one of my main mission parameters is to keep them in line, but come on! How do you keep a pair of ten foot, slobbering, grunting, bloodthirsty, violent, idiots in line???? I have found that the best way is to use child psychology. Make them think that there will be a battle soon, and they shut up for a while. I must say that these two could demolish a hundred normal men with relative ease. In combat, they are a blur of huge weapons and blood (including their own, which is the reason Lazlo carries such a big herb supply). When confronted with a foe that they really don’t like, they go into a frenzied rage and simply slaughter things till no one is left standing. This includes the rest of the party. On several occasions we all had to drop to the ground and play dead till they calmed down! I will be the first to tell you that they are invaluable in a fight. However, I question if it is wrth the trouble. They are constantly getting into trouble. Some examples are:

• Accidently eating a farmer’s prize cow.
• Burying yours truly in leaves and dirt while I slept. ( I got them back for that one)
• Killing drunk, fragile, humans accidently in a simple bar fight.

These are just a few examples of their hassles. Lazlo has talked himself blue many times trying to get them out of trouble.

I must …… ….// I just got hit in the head with a dead rabbit!!!!! This is the kind of thing that pisses me off!! If I retaliate, they simply continue the assaults. If I ignore it, they think I did not notice and do it twice as hard.

Well I better end this letter so I can wipe the entrails off my beautiful hair. Oh how I wish I were back at the college teaching unruly apprentices the proper technique for freezing someone’s lips off with a cold bolt